Liam's Story

What are some struggles you've faced with your mental health?

As someone who considered himself tough and resilient, mental health issues were never on my radar. I believed I was too strong for that—"I'm not weak, I'm a proper bloke," I would tell myself. However, my perception of invincibility quickly crumbled after leaving the Army. Faced with new and unfamiliar challenges, I began self-medicating with substances and alcohol to cope. I kept this struggle hidden from my family, attempting to resolve my issues independently through mental escapism. What began as a social way of avoiding reality rapidly escalated into full-blown addiction.

I became a shadow of my former self, consuming alcohol and substances whenever possible. My career suffered a sharp decline, my relationship teetered on the brink of collapse, and my outlook on life became so distorted that I could no longer distinguish reality. Viewing the world through a skewed perspective, I lost all passion and enthusiasm for life. I gained weight, reaching 18 stone, and neglected my well-being. I isolated myself emotionally, feeling as though I was the only person suffering in the world.

In an attempt to seek validation, I became a people-pleaser, a clown, a show-off, and a joker. My focus shifted to all the wrong places, while inside, I was dying. I was miserable and felt like a failure. Thoughts of suicide became frequent, especially during sleepless nights filled with catastrophic thinking. I felt deeply alone and frightened, as if I were the only person awake at that time. Fear crippled me, and I was at a loss for what to do. Life became unbearable, and I continued to try to bury my problems rather than seek help.

I alienated myself from others, becoming aggressive and confrontational. I adopted a lazy lifestyle and was eventually living on borrowed time. Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually, I found myself at the end of my tether and in a deep hole.

Passion and enthusiasm were non existent, a flare for life was extinguished, and my appetite for success was gone. I was full of sadness, anger, remorse, fear and a constant feeling of calamity. I was done and I didn’t know why.

What do you do to keep you mental health in-check?

Thankfully, someone experiencing similar struggles recognized my rapid decline through their own experiences and reached out to me. They introduced me to like-minded individuals who had been on a similarly destructive path but had found a way to embark on a new journey—one leading to an improved life filled with happiness, positivity, ambition, and clarity.

Once I addressed the core issues and sought help to overcome my struggles with alcohol and substance abuse, I began to see life more clearly. I realized that I was not alone; many others shared my story. This perspective shift allowed me to compartmentalize everyday problems and effectively manage them. By learning to tackle life on its own terms, I reignited the passion and enthusiasm I had lost. Over the next three years, living a clean and sober life, my mental health improved dramatically.

I discovered that talking to people and opening up was not something to fear. I became inspired by others, absorbing their passion and embracing love and kindness, which helped me find my own passion. I discovered the great outdoors and decided to set a goal that provided focus and had the full support of my friends and family. I found solace, peace, and mental clarity in nature, testing my physical and mental endurance. I decided to pursue mountaineering.

Balancing normal life with my new goals, I established a daily routine that keeps me busy, mentally focused, and physically and spiritually healthy. I became a member of the church, connecting with God and embracing Christian values. I started going to bed earlier, waking up earlier, and going for morning runs. I take a cold plunge before work, eat healthy meals, and avoid trash TV. I read more, focusing on philosophy and stoicism, learning from thinkers like Marcus Aurelius, Dr. Carl Jung, Viktor E. Frankl, and many others. I delved into the mind to understand potential challenges and how best to address them.

I welcomed challenges and the pressures of everyday life, but I wanted to discover the solutions myself. And it worked. Building a routine, spending time in nature, keeping faith, handling problems maturely, living a clean and active lifestyle, and being open with loved ones positively impacted my life. My career, finances, friendships, family relationships, health, spirituality, and ability to learn and grow have all flourished.

I wake up each day ready and eager to embrace life, spending my free time in love with adventure. My goal is not to be wealthy in material terms but to be rich with love and happiness. To achieve this, I learned the importance of giving love and happiness freely without expecting anything in return.

What makes you feel most fulfilled?

Answering how I maintain my well-being used to be challenging, as I was always seeking solutions in the wrong places. Today, the answer is clear: routine, structure, discipline, realistic goals, love, acceptance, and ample time in nature.

Building a holistic lifestyle through a positive routine and structured goal-setting is profoundly rewarding. Maintaining a healthy dose of self-discipline to accomplish tasks, from the simplest to the most challenging, brings an incredible sense of fulfillment. At the same time, it is crucial to embrace acceptance when things do not go as planned. It's okay for plans to change or for things to go wrong. Obsessing over what cannot be changed is unhealthy. As long as I give my best effort, that’s all that matters, and I will always feel gratitude for how I handle challenges.

With this mindset, combined with a sprinkling of love, I can rest my head on a pillow at night rather than on a metaphorical rock. Additionally, I find immense satisfaction in the so-called "selfish act" of dopamine chasing through venturing into the wild. Whether trekking up mountains or across landscapes, I challenge myself to cover miles regardless of the weather. Finishing a tough day on the ground, having achieved what I set out to do, reinforces my sense of accomplishment and reinforces my holistic approach to life.

And last but not least, being able to sit comfortably in my own skin. With no one to impress. Just me and my new and improved way of thinking.

What is something you're looking forward to doing?

I have taken mountain hiking to the next level and set my sights on some ambitious goals, achievable through my positive lifestyle changes. Now fitter and stronger, and 4 stone lighter, I am excited to climb my first 4,000-meter peak, the Breithorn in Switzerland. I also have plans to scale Mont Blanc in 2025. Above all, I look forward to spending 10 days with my beautiful family in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland. We are eager to embark on family hikes, indulge in plenty of cheese and chocolate, and create lasting memories together. This trip will be a refreshing escape from our hometown, allowing us to explore somewhere completely new. We are all incredibly excited.

What advice would you give to someone struggling with their mental health?

You can't always fix a thought with another thought; it requires action. There comes a point when it's necessary to admit, "I'm done living like this; I need help," and that is absolutely okay. The first step to healing is acknowledging you're not well. Reach out to friends, family, professionals, fellowships, or communities and simply say, "I need help."

Building a new life independently can be challenging, especially if we lack the necessary knowledge and experience. Sometimes, we need the building blocks of life to come from others—they can provide the materials and guidance, but it’s up to you to apply them practically.

Life does get better, but it can seem impossible if you don't let others in. Start from scratch, build the foundations of life with support, and once you get the hang of it, you'll be amazed at how well you can design a whole new life. And don’t forget to catch a little fresh air once in a while, nature has a way of healing that can’t be matched by anything else in this world.

A massive thank you to Liam for being so frank and open about his struggles with mental health here. Follow his adventures on Instagram @lost.with.liam.