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It felt like everything was unraveling at once, and I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of helplessness. Until that point, I never really knew how quickly life could shift from bright to dark.
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I felt I was becoming socially awkward, but during lockdown I became a dad & that totally changed my life, it gave me a reason to stop it and focus on myself to become the best dad I could be.
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I’ve suffered with my mental health since a young age - depression, anxiety and suicide attempts have come in waves. Usually linked to unresolved or recurring trauma.
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I find my hardest times are when I'm overwhelmed, perhaps at a time of crisis or conflict. In those situations I tend to close myself off and try to power through, which is damaging to those around me, and the mental cost of doing that is damaging too.
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“Depression is where your soul doesn’t want you to play this character anymore.” For me it was going out drinking & partying. What I discovered was that as soon as I moved away from that and got into hiking, my issues that I was having went away.
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